Tuesday, January 27, 2009

At my wit's end

Ever have those days where nithing goes right? You just feel like curling up into a ball and sleeping? That's how I've felt for a while now. That it's just the same routine day in and day out. I want to break out of my shell and do something exciting!!

Rosslyn has been fussy all day and I don't know why. She just cries at random times and when I try to feed her, se'll sometimes eat and sometimes just pinch my boobs. I love her to death, wouldn't trade her for the world but I just wish I knew what was wrong with her. She hardly likes me holding her, doesn't like her walker much and if I put her in the floor to play with her toys, she just crawls to all the dvd's and puts everything in sight in her mouth.

I feel like crap, I look like crap all the time, I tried blow drying my hair and Rosslyn just starts bawling, the sound scares her so much. And Jordan doesn't get home until like 8 or so so that's a whole day wasted. All I do is cook supper, he plays his games or watches a movie and we go to bed.

All I do is cook, clean and tend to Rosslyn. I know that's the life I chose but I want some time to myself...or just me and Jordan. we haven't spent a night just by ourselves since he's been home. We tried one time to go over to our friend's house when we were home, we left Rosslyn with his little sister and not even an hour after we left, we had to go back to his dad's where she was at.

I don't know, I guess it's all just wearing on me. I wish the weather would get a little warmer so I can go to the park or something. I think a little fresh air would do me good. because I've been cooped up in this freaking apartment all month long. Jordan always says we're gonna go out to do something but we never do. Maybe I'll just go places myself and the baby if he wants to be such an agoraphobe.

I know I should tell Jordan this stuff but he thinks I hate my life, but I don't. I just need to do more than just the housewife and mother thing. I wish I could get a weekend job. That would help me so much. But I don't know of any places just hiring for the weekends.

2 love notes:

Ashleigh said...

Amen sister. sigh. (but replace the baby with a 3 year old who talks nonstop 24 hours a day and thinks the house is hers to trash)

rameelin said...

I totally understand. You arent alone. I think that most housewives and mom's of young kids especially feel this way at one time or another. I have been feeling alot like this and I'm hoping it's just the winter getting to me. I'm thinking of you though...just know that you truly are not alone and it's ok to feel this way. And just think...
you could have a 2 1/2 year old telling you to shut up and a 1 1/2 year old telling you NO! all day. Oh, and a new puppy who barks when you arent holding her. *bangs head on the wall* sigh.