Thursday, October 1, 2009

Some of my parenting thoughts & techniques

*This may be controversial to some and I'm sorry if it offends you, that's just the way I feel*
I have a feeling I might lose some readers and followers but whatever.

There are so many different ways to parent children nowadays and if you're not doing it one way, the opposite side makes you feel like shit for not doing it their way. So here are a few "hot button" issues and my stances on them.

Cloth Diapering- I was going to cloth diaper Rosslyn but I never got around to it. My friend Kaela even sent me a cloth diaper starter kit all the way from California. But if I did it, it would prove to be a lot harder once we moved to NC because we didn't have a washer and dryer where I could keep clean diapers everyday. But, with our next child, we'll hopefully have a washer and dryer and I'm going to cloth diaper him/her. Because I notice that some of the stuff from the diaper comes off on Rosslyn's butt so it's a little gross.

Breastfeeding- I breastfed for 9 months straight and I got looked at like I had 10 heads. My little sister who is pregnant right now plans on breastfeeding. But I don't know if the hospital back home even has lactation consultants. Because, and I'm gonna be honest, practically everyone at home bottle feeds that way they can pawn their kid off on someone and head down to the bars. Not everyone does that I know but it seems like the case for back home in McCreary County. I know there are moms out there who can't breastfeed because their baby won't or can't latch on so I have no problem with that. It's just those immature people who put their wants and needs before their baby's.

Spanking- Yes, we've spanked Rosslyn. I think she may be too young to understand reasoning just yet (we do count to 5 if she does something wrong). But there are just so many times you can say no to a child before they just start ignoring you. Plus, she's beginning to throw fits and scream if she doesn't get what she wants. I know the difference between spanking and beating. And I have never crossed the line. I think that hitting a child on the foot with a wooden spoon is worse than a spanking.

Circumcision- Even though we don't have a boy, and I'm not sure we ever will, we plan on getting him circumcised. Because as children, boys don't keep themselves that clean down there and the risk of infection increases. I know some will say that the baby experiences pain, which I know is true. But some people willingly give their children vaccinations and get their ears pierced. And besides, the body doesn't remember pain. Here's a pro- circumcision article But all of this comes from a mom who's never had a boy so I guess what I'm saying is I don't really have a fair say in it yet.

Vaccinations- I was really reluctant to get Rosslyn vaccinated first. She was doing fine, why would she need shots to prevent something that has a cure for it? But Jordan talked me into it and he went with me to her first appointment at the Naval Hospital to get some catch up shots. He never went back. It was probably the most horrible thing I've ever seen my daughter have to go through. And I, as her mother was willingly doing this to her. It broke my heart in a million pieces. She is now up to date on all of her shots but she will not be getting a flu shot or the chicken pox vaccine.

Rear facing vs. front facing car seats- Rosslyn is still rear facing but this is a personal choice. I'm not going to demean or judge other parents who have turned their child around when they turned a year old. However, that being said, I don't think it should be done a day before. Because I think it is safer when they are so young. I do plan on front facing Rosslyn when we go home to Kentucky. That way it's easier for us to look back at her and make sure everything is ok.

So there it is...all laid out on the table. Sorry if they offended anyone but I am the best mother that I can be to my child and I'll be damned if anyone tells me otherwise.

5 love notes:

Chantel said...

Did you breastfeed in public? David is so paranoid about me breastfeeding in public. It's not like I'm hurting anyone. If my baby wants lunch, I'm going to feed him/her lunch. I think he's more worried about perverts though. Do you still have the kit Kaela sent you? If you do, at least you'll be prepared next time!

Shea said...

Yeah, a few times I did. Like when Jordan got home we went out to eat, at Hooters (ironic lol) and I breast fed her there. Jordan's mom told me everyone was looking at me but I didn't care. I didn't have a nursing cover but I used her blanket. And I do still have the diapers Kaela gave me so hopefully the next baby will be a girl because there was a lot of pink lol.

Joel said...

"Because as children, boys don't keep themselves that clean down there and the risk of infection increases."

I never had a problem.

In fact, most of the world doesn't circumcise, and there is no "foreskin health crisis"... as long as you don't prematurely retract an infant (the foreskin doesn't pull back until years later), it's as easy to clean as a finger. As he gets older, I'm sure you'll have no trouble convincing him to play with his penis in the bath/shower.

"the body doesn't remember pain."
Many studies suggest that the brain DOES record painful/traumatic events that occur - it can even record events that occur before birth. Of course it won't be a conscious memory, but the brain is a very powerful organ, and effects us in ways we do not realize.

Even more importantly, circumcision permanently removes healthy, sensitive, functional genital tissue that belongs ONLY to him.. not to his parents. I can personally attest to the fact that the foreskin is valuable tissue - and I know I would certainly never part with mine. It provides not only a protective role for the head of the penis and the urinary tract, but its mobility also provides useful functionality. The foreskin itself contains thousands and thousands of nerve endings similar to those found in the fingertips and lips.

I hope if you ever do get pregnant, you will research this topic further - because no medical organization recommends it, and its a natural, normal, healthy part of a person - and taking that away from someone without their consent is NOT FAIR! Most circumcised men don't seem to mind, but a growing number of them really do! And, to be honest, I don't blame them at all.. to me, its tragic what happened to them! :(

Shea said...

Thank you for your input but if I do ever have a boy, it will be a personal choice of mine and my husband's. You could show me facts all day long and I could show you some too but at the end of the day, it comes down to what I feel is best for my child. And like I said, I don't have a fair say in it because I don't have a boy. Who knows, when/if I have a boy my idea will change completely.

Joel said...

Hi Shea, thank you for the response.

Although perhaps my post was too focused on facts, I hoped it would be seen that I was actually trying to discuss the ethical side of things - whose foreskin is it, in other words. Since we know its not medically necessary, SHOULDN'T it be a decision that a person makes about their own body.

I will certainly not argue with you that legally, yes, it is a decision you are able to make.

Thank-you again for taking the time to read my reply, and to respond to it.