Do you ever feel that your life or yourself for that matter is stale? No excitement, no pizzaz, no spice? That you're going through life bland? That's how I feel right now. I don't know if it's because I've been cooped up all day and haven't seen my husband much (I know I have no room to talk, Ashley, Stephanie). But I just feel like my life is lacking something. I don't know what it is. I get like this from time to time. Just in a funk. I feel like I need to watch a sad movie and eat Ben&Jerry's. But I know I shouldn't feel this way because God has blessed me with so much that I do not want to take anything for granted. So could you all please say a little prayer for me to get in a better mood? Thanks.
Also, I really want to have another baby. I've wanted to for a while but Jordan's never said yes or no to the idea. I'm on the pill right now so that's the answer to that. But I want to have another baby. I miss being pregnant (don't miss the morning sickness though), I miss breastfeeding, I miss holding a tiny baby in my arms who doesn't yell at you and throw fits hahahaha. Also, I think I've come to the decision that with this next baby, whenever that may happen, I want to do a home birth, start cloth diapering and do more of the attached parenting style. Though not fully because sometimes, if a kid's throwing a tantrum, it's just to get what they want and you do need to stifle their feelings. ....that sounded mean. With both of my sisters pregnant and also nearly everyone I know, I feel a little baron. I know we're both still young and have our whole life ahead of us to have more kids but I want them to be close in age like I was with my sisters. So I don't know what to do about that. I also decided that if I do get pregnant when we move home, I'm not going to the doctor up in Somerset. Because it seems like the force so many things on you like being induced, not breastfeeding (not that there's anything wrong with formula feeding) and getting hyped up on pain meds. That's just not my birth plan. This is the reason I'd love to have our next baby at home. I'm able to control things exactly how I want them and I'm not pressured to do one thing or another. But the only thing I liked about staying in a hospital after I was driven there in an ambulance was getting a break from it all. Being able to have peace and quiet and just me and my newborn baby for a few days. I didn't have to worry about cleaning, laundry or anything like that, I could just relax. Plus, I know as much as he won't admit it, Jordan wants to be there to hold his newborn child for the first time as its covered in all the goop. lol. So I don't know what will happen....we'll just see what God has planned for us.