Tuesday, October 5, 2010

I've come to realize...

That as much as I would like, I am no longer part of the military world. I am no longer a Marine wife, I am the wife of a veteran. Everything I hear or see going on in the military nowadays doesn't directly affect me anymore. It's a little sad. I kind of don't feel special anymore. There will be no Marine Corps ball for me this year, no looking for dresses, no planning a hairstyle, no buying shoes or cute accessories. But, I will hold on to the pride that I had for my husband forever. Because he did something that so many people around him haven't done. And I am thankful for that. I hate to sound bitchy or whatever but I am a little bitter that my husband wasn't there for the birth of our first daughter but I know what he was doing was infinitely more important than holding my hand (if she were born in the hospital). I guess I kind of feel like these "boot" wives don't really know what's going on and they really don't have much room to talk until they have gone through what I have went through. Missing your first two wedding anniversaries sucks balls. Missing your husband's 20th and 21st birthdays sucks as well. I guess it's kind of weird that I found the whole military spouse blogosphere after I was the wife of a vet. I would scour the internet looking for wives who were in my situation when Jordan was in the Marines. And now that he's out and I've found a bunch of Marine wives' blogs? I get a little jealous.

I am in no way saying that my surviving 2 deployments makes me some expert at military wife life, I know tons of wives who are on their 4th deployments or have been through 4 or 5 of them. I'm just saying it's not fair to complain if you're new to the whole thing. You have the right to complain, I'm not stopping you, but until you've spent 7 months or longer and have to experience a life changing event without your husband by your side, keep it in perspective.

Also I'm not saying that I'm better than anyone especially to the widows because they have to spend the rest of their lives alone.

This post doesn't really have any rhyme or reason. Just kind of a vent. I know most of the people who read my blog know me pretty well so they can understand where I'm coming from so I don't want anyone who doesn't know me that well to think I'm all high and mighty or on my soapbox or anything like that.

3 love notes:

Kendra said...

HUGS!

:)

LivKit said...

Ive been with a Marine, and once a Marine always a Marine is what I heard ... so Id always feel special.. Once a Marine Wife, ALWAYS a Marine Wife! :)

Tori said...

Shea, you are such a strong woman for everything that you have gone through! I can't imagine how hard it is to give birth without Jordan there. I definitely look up to you and your strength to get me through the trails of dealing with the Corps. Thank you for this post though, I have had the same feelings, even though I might be a boot fiance still (not sure what you consider a boot :P) but I definitely understand where you're coming from. And you're always a Marine wife to me!